Peace I give unto you...

Last Sunday a Pastor was talking about Peace, and it sort of floated into the Remembrance Day week here in Canada.   The whole idea of us being peace makers, peace bringers, and bringing peace to our relationships with others.   He (the Pastor) left out one thing that I've sometimes struggled with, was peace with God.


Looking back on my life, there are some regrets, but sometimes I find that our faith pulls us toward a path that isn't so 'straight and narrow'.   I think back on my time in Selkirk Manitoba, and how I went out there out of faith, and at a time when I was starting a relationship with someone here.   Then God calls me back home to run a youth center, and that was JUST as I was starting a relationship in Manitoba.   It's not easy being single.   Being 40 and single is daunting on one's ego, and mental wellbeing.  Oh, and NO I haven't shaved my chest yet ... in case your thinking of a famous Steve Carell movie.


I wonder how at peace with God I am, to where He has led me, and He has led me, of there I have no doubt.  But it isn't easy, and there are deep times of loneliness.   But peace?


I think of the bible story of Jesus being asleep in the boat on the Sea of Galilee, and everyone is panicking, the disciples, who have hung around Jesus for awhile now, wake Him up, and tell him that they are in a storm, and they don't know what to do.   Jesus totally calms the waves, and everything turns out ok.   But these guys, they walked with Jesus, they saw the miracles He did, yet they were nervous about this storm.


Peace is not found in myself.   I have torrents of loneliness, non-confidence, faithlessness, all these things, but then, JUST when I find that things are overwhelming, God through his Spirit gives me a peace about everything, like Jesus makes everything alright.   It's very cool.   Like the old hymn that says "When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul." (by  Horatio G. Spafford)  That's the way it is.


There are alot of times I struggle with my inadequacies, but then I'm reminded that Christ saved me, who I am, all my weirdness and all.  Peace is found not in me, but in the one who calms all the waves in my life.   Thanks be to God for that :)